Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Arrogant Angel

Arrogant Angel
Plastering his audacious presence into us all
Everyday parading his myrrh carnival
To tender moments with our humanity
He brought us joy
Taught us that there were no limits to his confidence
Rescuing others was his expertise
Rescuing himself his undoing
He loved men and women without discernment
He never took the liberty of patience with life
Recklessly fulfilling himself in every moment and every being
We all wanted to be contaminated by his spherical firecracker soul
His blooming octopusian arms
Oh the mastering life agility of his
Meeting us all without shame
Challenging himself
See the world
Love the world
Feel the world
Dance the world
Fuck the world
Crack infusions
Bisexual deity surviving with our isolationists hearts
The aids challenge finally brought mortality
Unable to work
Taking thirty pills a day
He cashed in his life
An investor bought his life insurance
Gambling that my little brother would sooner die
To his fortune our misfortune
But my little brother refused to surrender to pity
He would not live trapped in the cage of futile treatment
He would not live a life that was not a constant funny insanity
A constant lovely dance embellished with friends and lovers
I have never met anyone so gifted at the art of living
So prepared to surrender it if it failed him
It was always I that wanted to die
He called us to say goodbye
I let the phone ring
And ring
He curled himself
Covered with warm blankets that would not cure the cold his flesh would suffer
Trapped his heart cold
And slept a life away
I never understood why he believed in god
But then I think a deity as he

RC