In Evolution Best To Be Last
It is good to be first, god is at the top of the spiritual food chain, best in his class, the president, leader of the nation, top of his profession, it is good to be first, it is good to win, being second or third, or last is not good. I have never been last, but I have never been first. I don’t excel at anything, I am what is known as an outsider, the world changes without me within the quandary of its trying hours. Wars may feasts on young male bodies, success craves balding old men, but nothing craves my substance. Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining, there is a great deal of disbelief in my personification which accomplishes much in my favor. I can’t be blame for any of the world’s problems, I have not started any wars, thought urge I have yet never been able to muster an army of fanatics to find me their leader. Revolt! revolt I scream but no one hears me. No one can blame me of any and all crimes for I am not large and mean enough to truly stick it to some one. There have been plenty of people I have wanted dead, a number of them my bosses, but even as I cursed them with what ought have been a most fatal of curses, “I hope nothing terrible ever happens to my boss but nothing ever goes my way.” Even with that fatal curse nothing ever went my way; the damn fools survived my every chicanery. I don’t think I ever wanted to kill an ex-lover, I hear about people that want to hire assassins to care for their ex-lovers, but me, I just get suicidal. One time I lost a lot of weight, almost subtracted myself from existence; another day I actually put a knife’s blade to my left wrist, left is so personalize, then I binged on sleeping pills using a whole bottle of whiskey to usher them down my esophagus, but nothing ever goes my way. Advice for you, don’t drink an overdose of sleeping pills with alcohol, you will just vomit it all out throughout a hellish night. Some people are lucky, I once shared a hut with an alcoholic that choked himself to death from vomiting; more evidence that nothing ever goes my way.
Killing yourself is hard to do, I think that is why people murder others instead, it is so much easier to accomplish, even raping someone or abusing a child, surely people bare children and own pets so they have someone to control and abuse; it is a way of channeling angerishness perpetrated upon us all by the social culture that imprisons us. Still killing oneself is hard, hard to do, easier to fight a war, to kill a dog, to hunt a deer; murdering something anything is a good way to express out connectivity to death, we are always there, I know the feeling of wanting to kill me something, I killed a pig spirit that once used to reside within me, that was hard, it hurt me more after the act, I horribly felt his absence. But pig lived with me, so I guessed I had grown attached to his pork, imagine if hunters had to expend a weekend retreat with their prey, deer feeding one day and target deer tomorrow, go and hunt. Might be easier though to put the family dog to sleep, a wonderful satisfaction in having to make a cruel decision, sleep you dog. But I don’t want to get away from my main point, so just know that of self afflicted, mutilation, of this self that I am, shall not be taken lightly, yet I am not anybody, I am not first, I am not last, will not be missed by you, nor by the world at large; my family will have a difficult time with it, but death is a part of life. I know.
I think you are beginning to get my point, I don’t know why I think that, I don’t know you, I know I don’t know you, which is another way of saying that you can’t hurt me and people can understand better those that they can not hurt. I never see the other side of someone that is arguing with me, I recommend that you don’t argue with me, you can’t win, even if I don’t know you, you can’t win! Comfort your self with knowing that you comprehend my madness and that it does not touch you in any way, you are sane, that is not an insult!
In evolution it is good to be last, in fact all the successful species are last, but they don’t know it when they are, that is they don’t know that they are going to be last, the dinosaurs were thriving and successful and I ma sure that they were happy with their success but when they were thriving they got their grand extinction. Humanity adapting and modifying its own environment, from transgression to transgression, eventually became very successful, but humanity had no way of knowing that it would be successful, it is only now that Homo sapiens can look at Neanderthals with an air of superiority. See if you know you are the best you are about to born your extinction. Every damn thing in the planet, gets charcoal cooked at the peak of evolutionary success. Think of it this way, do you think that horses, that served us so well, for so many years, do you suppose that they ever imagined that they would be surpassed by the automobile. Of course not, horses were so arrogant at the height of their evolutionary success, they had after all bettered the Indians in acquiring acceptance from the white men, they were so damn arrogant though that they used to race against the automobile, proving endurance and speed, and now what, horses are dog meat. A horse jockey is a small man.
But really I don’t want to insult anyone but in evolution it is good to be last, the last to arrive is the best to arrive, but I am not last, what I worry about is that I am somewhere in between the mesh of craziness that produces tomorrow, but get this, since I am no one in particular, not a spike or spoke or a pulley in the wheel of progress, what if I am the successful species of tomorrow.
Soon I might be last.
RC
Killing yourself is hard to do, I think that is why people murder others instead, it is so much easier to accomplish, even raping someone or abusing a child, surely people bare children and own pets so they have someone to control and abuse; it is a way of channeling angerishness perpetrated upon us all by the social culture that imprisons us. Still killing oneself is hard, hard to do, easier to fight a war, to kill a dog, to hunt a deer; murdering something anything is a good way to express out connectivity to death, we are always there, I know the feeling of wanting to kill me something, I killed a pig spirit that once used to reside within me, that was hard, it hurt me more after the act, I horribly felt his absence. But pig lived with me, so I guessed I had grown attached to his pork, imagine if hunters had to expend a weekend retreat with their prey, deer feeding one day and target deer tomorrow, go and hunt. Might be easier though to put the family dog to sleep, a wonderful satisfaction in having to make a cruel decision, sleep you dog. But I don’t want to get away from my main point, so just know that of self afflicted, mutilation, of this self that I am, shall not be taken lightly, yet I am not anybody, I am not first, I am not last, will not be missed by you, nor by the world at large; my family will have a difficult time with it, but death is a part of life. I know.
I think you are beginning to get my point, I don’t know why I think that, I don’t know you, I know I don’t know you, which is another way of saying that you can’t hurt me and people can understand better those that they can not hurt. I never see the other side of someone that is arguing with me, I recommend that you don’t argue with me, you can’t win, even if I don’t know you, you can’t win! Comfort your self with knowing that you comprehend my madness and that it does not touch you in any way, you are sane, that is not an insult!
In evolution it is good to be last, in fact all the successful species are last, but they don’t know it when they are, that is they don’t know that they are going to be last, the dinosaurs were thriving and successful and I ma sure that they were happy with their success but when they were thriving they got their grand extinction. Humanity adapting and modifying its own environment, from transgression to transgression, eventually became very successful, but humanity had no way of knowing that it would be successful, it is only now that Homo sapiens can look at Neanderthals with an air of superiority. See if you know you are the best you are about to born your extinction. Every damn thing in the planet, gets charcoal cooked at the peak of evolutionary success. Think of it this way, do you think that horses, that served us so well, for so many years, do you suppose that they ever imagined that they would be surpassed by the automobile. Of course not, horses were so arrogant at the height of their evolutionary success, they had after all bettered the Indians in acquiring acceptance from the white men, they were so damn arrogant though that they used to race against the automobile, proving endurance and speed, and now what, horses are dog meat. A horse jockey is a small man.
But really I don’t want to insult anyone but in evolution it is good to be last, the last to arrive is the best to arrive, but I am not last, what I worry about is that I am somewhere in between the mesh of craziness that produces tomorrow, but get this, since I am no one in particular, not a spike or spoke or a pulley in the wheel of progress, what if I am the successful species of tomorrow.
Soon I might be last.
RC
posted by Ricardo Correa at 10:47 PM
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